"Safe Place" is not the same as being someone's friend.

As a parent, you want your child to feel comfortable enough to come to you with their problems, worries, and thoughts. You want to create a trusting relationship where they feel safe and supported. However, it's important to remember that being a safe place for your child doesn't mean you have to be their friend.

Your child needs a parent whom they can turn to for guidance, advice, and counsel. They need someone who will challenge them to grow and make the right decisions. Being a friend means you may compromise your parental role by avoiding tough conversations, overlooking inappropriate behavior or choices, or even giving in to your child's demands. When you don’t, your child turns on you, and they may even use your desire to be their friend against you. “I thought you said you are my friend, and yet you won’t accept me or go with me on this decision.”

Instead, strive to be a safe adult in your child's life. This means creating an environment where they feel safe to share without being judged or rejected. It also means being open and honest with them while still setting healthy boundaries and expectations. Remember that your role as a parent is to guide and support your child, not to be their friend.

It's okay if you don't share the same interests as your child or if you disagree with their choices. Your role is to listen, understand, and offer advice based on your experience and values. By being a trusted adult, you're providing your child with the support they need to navigate the challenges of growing up.

In conclusion, creating a safe and trusting relationship with your child is essential, but it's important to remember that you don't need to be their friend. As a parent, you have a unique role in their life, and it's important to embrace that role with love, guidance, and support.